i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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