my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
false alarm. still invincible.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
