she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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