I think scott just propositioned me for sex
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
