So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
