We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
