Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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