Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize