just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize