Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize