you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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