Swine flu. Run for my life!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
