Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
