i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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