At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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