so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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