Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
