my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
