if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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