i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
