My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
