I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
This is my gift to your gina
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize