I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
