Im at strip club and am horny
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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