No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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