so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
