Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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