Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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