Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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