I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
