take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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