You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
