Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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