I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
