i just google imaged poop.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
