Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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