Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
