Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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