some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
