so that wasnt chicken after all
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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