you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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