Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize