So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
