remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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