90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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