Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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