Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
