Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
