recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
