I'm going to rape someone's good day.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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