You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
