How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
