I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
