I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
