At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My cat gives me a boner
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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