our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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