I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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