Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
