whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
