Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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