do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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