Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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