i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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