McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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