I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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